Fizz’s Top 5 Most Quotable Movies

I have to start this out with some honesty. This list won’t be everyone’s list. I tried to do a true “Top 5 Most Quotable,” but found that I could not find any agreement between various websites, friends, or, even with myself. So, What I have done is offer up to you the top 5 films that I have quoted ad nauseam throughout my life (seriously, ask anyone who knows me!). What I want to really do with this list is what I love most– start a conversation! Are some of your most quotable movies the same as mine? What shaped you and your friends conversations growing up or even in recent years? Let us know in the comments or on Facebook.

Another quick note for Honorable Mentions: Forrest Gump, Lord of the Rings, Anchorman, Airplane

5. Star Wars (Original Trilogy)

This may be a bit of a cheat to combine these, but really, it is such a staple of pop culture that I think we should allow it. This franchise has been around for so many years it would be hard to imagine some lines wouldn’t have slipped in, even if it was no so incredibly popular.

Best Lines:
“It’s a trap!” -Admiral Ackbar
“Now, young Skywalker… you will die.” -The Emperor
“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.” -Princess Leia
“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” -Obi Wan Kenobi
“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” -Yoda

Best Speech:
“I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.” -Darth Vader

4. Independence Day

I feel with every list there is something that will inevitably come off as a guilty pleasure. Look, it is impossible to turn off this movie if you come across it on TV. No matter where you pick up, you will be compelled to watch it until completion. With a silly plot and countless over-the-top moments, I blame the script for being one long one-liner after another.

Best Lines:
“Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I’m BAAAAAACK!” -Russel Casse
“Forget the fat lady. You’re obsessed with fat lady. Just get us out of here!” -David Levinson
“No, you did NOT shoot that green s— at me!” -Captain Steven Hiller
“Y’know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin’ your heavy a– through the burnin’ desert with your dreadlocks stickin’ out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin’ all big and bad… [yells] and what the hell is that smell? [starts kicking the alien, yelling] I could’ve been at a barbecue!” -Captain Steven Hiller
“THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT! That’s what you get! Look at you, ship all *banged* up! Who’s the man? Huh? Who’s the man? Wait till I get another plane! I’m-a line all your friends up right beside you!  [climbs on top of alien plane] Where you at, huh? Huh? Where you at? Welcome to earth!” -Captain Steven Hiller

Best Speech:
“Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!” -President Thomas Whitmore

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Is there a greater symbol of nerddom than out-quoting your friends during a Holy Grail viewing? The Monty Python boys have given the world an immeasurable number of quotes from their many projects, but this one stands at the pinnacle. While it plays like a series of sketches with a common thread, the movie leaves most people fighting over which scene is their favorite.

Best Quotes:
“Bring out yer dead.” -The Dead Collector
“It’s just a flesh wound.” -The Black Knight
“What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” -Birdgekeeper
“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… WITH… A HERRING!” -The Knights Who Say Ni
“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” -French Soldier

Best Speech:
“And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.” -Cleric

2. The Princess Bride

Certainly this needs no explanation. One of the best movies that also happens to have incredible age-diverse appeal.  The Princess Bride is timeless and it is because of the witty, yet PG dialogue. All the characters are clever or funny in their own way and it makes them hard to get out of our heads– even the bad guys!

Best Quotes:
“As you wish.” -Westley
“INCONCIEVABLE!” -Vizzini
“Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.” -Grandpa
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” -Inigo Montoya
“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” -Westley

Best Speech:
“Beautiful isn’t it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I’m sure you’ve discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I’m writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I’ll use the lowest setting.
[Count Rugen activates the water powered torture machine. Westley writhes in great pain]
As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that’s all this is except that instead of sucking water, I’m sucking life. I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you. So, let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?” -Count Rugen

1. Robin Hood: Men In Tights

Controversy? Maybe. This is why I hope we get feedback from all of you. But, for me, this movie was the combination of #2, 3, and 4 on this list. There was a Summer that I probably watched this movie twice a week (easily). It didn’t matter where I started it, like Independence Day, I had to finish it. Like Holy Grail, quoting this in my circle of friends was nerd cred. And, like The Princess Bride, it was a broad-audience film that managed to spread the love when it came to fun lines. Easily my favorite Mel Brooks film.

Best Quotes:
“Did you say ‘Abe Lincoln’?” -Blinkin
“Oh, they call me Little John. But don’t let my name fool you. In real life, I’m very big.” -Little John
“Oh Master Robin! [hugging a replica statue of the Venus de Milo] You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.” -Blinkin
“A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. And if we don’t get no tolls, then we don’t eat no rolls. I made that up.” -Little John
“I knew it! I knew it would be bad news. Wait, I have an idea. Maybe if you tell me the *bad* news in a *good* way, it wouldn’t sound so bad.” -Prince John

Best Speech:
“Hey man, tough room… why don’t you let me give it a try. [Puts on a pair of glasses] People of Sherwood look at yourselves! Go ahead, take a look around. Oh people of Sherwood you been had. Hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Run amuck! We didn’t land on Sherwood forest, Sherwood forest landed on us!” -Ahchoo